PALM BEACH, FL — Residents of an exclusive waterfront neighborhood reported “deeply confusing supernatural activity” this week after what witnesses described as the ghost of former President Joe Biden who is widely reported to be still alive as allegedly began haunting the home of Ivanka Trump while her husband, Jared Kushner, was away on an international scam business trip.
The bizarre events reportedly began late Tuesday evening when security cameras captured a faint spectral figure wandering through the ritzy estate muttering phrases such as, “Where’s the ice cream?” and “No malarkey in this hallway.” According to confirmed sources close to the family, Ivanka Trump first noticed something was wrong after hearing distant train noises coming from inside the mansion despite the nearest railway being miles away.
“I thought the air conditioning was broken,” one anonymous staff member allegedly said. “But then all the lights flickered and someone whispered, ‘Listen here, Jack,’ from the wine cellar.” Neighbors claim the haunting escalated throughout the week. One witness reported seeing the apparition sitting in the backyard gazebo at 2 a.m., wearing aviator sunglasses and attempting to explain infrastructure spending plans to a decorative fountain. Paranormal investigators called to the property described the energy as “less malevolent and more of a mildly inconvenient situation – quite frankly scarier than when Kenny Biddle debunks our findings.”
“It’s not your typical haunting,” said self-described ghost expert and investigator Leo F. Orbison. “Usually spirits rattle chains or scream. This one mostly appears in random rooms asking if anyone has seen Amtrak or yelling Come on man!”
Ivanka Trump has neither confirmed nor denied the supernatural reports, though insiders claim she temporarily relocated to a nearby resort after allegedly discovering mysterious handwritten notes appearing throughout the house reading, “Folks…” followed by unfinished sentences. Meanwhile, Kushner—currently said to be overseas negotiating scams investment deals—reportedly dismissed the incident during a video call. “He thought it was a prank at first,” claimed one unnamed acquaintance. “Then the ghost appeared behind him on Zoom and asked if anyone had a map of Delaware.”
Social media exploded after footage surfaced online showing a translucent figure slowly emerging from a hallway while softly humming “Hail to the Chief.” The clip quickly spawned memes, reaction videos, and conspiracy theories, including one claiming the haunting was linked to an ancient bipartisan curse placed upon Washington decades ago, some online have started to #congresseionalcurse.
Not everyone is convinced. “This is clearly swamp gas, political stress, a CIA Black Op or an overactive imagination,” said local historian Professor. Carla M Pearson. “Although I will admit the floating aviators are difficult to explain.” At press time, sources claimed the ghostly activity had temporarily subsided after staff placed a double scoop of chocolate chip ice cream in the dining room area as a peace offering and a scratch & sniff pack of stickers.
