A college basketball player in Canada was approved by his team to proudly wear his last name on the back of his jersey: Fuck, yes that is his last name! Guilherme Carbagiale Fuck, a...
Read More
1 Minute
Sen. Ted Cruz Tweets that he is Running for President.
Texas Republican & illegal immigrant hater Sen. Ted Cruz says in a Twitter message that he is running for president of the United States. Cruz released an early morning tweet on Monday confirming what had long...
Read More
2 Minutes
Mark Zuckerberg’s would-be neighbor sues him for breaking promise
Mark Zuckerberg has been accused by his would-be neighbor Mircea Voskerician for breaking promise he made in 2012. Part time real estate developer Mircea Voskerician signed a contract to develop a property behind Zuckerberg’s...
Read More
1 Minute
Sixers Look to Sign Groot & Rocket Raccoon
The Philadelphia 76ers are looking to sure up their defense and offense sides of the court this coming off season by signing Groot & Rocket Raccoon from the Guardians of the Galaxy. Rumor has...
Read More
2 Minutes
Bristol Palin Engaged to Medal of Honor Recipient Dakota Meyer
Bristol Palin and Medal of Honor recipient Sgt. Dakota Meyer are engaged, a Palin family friend confirmed and sighed. The daughter of former failed vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin posted a photo with her...
Read More
1 Minute
Statue of Liberty to be Deported
In an appalling recent decision, the GOP has voted to deport the Statue of Liberty. After opening a history book for the first time in his life, Senator Ihave Nolif realized that the Statue...
Read More
9 Minutes
From McDonald’s All-American to McDonald’s worker: How David Harrison lost his way after the NBA
Former Indiana Pacers center David Harrison, a little more than a decade removed from being a first-round prick in the NBA draft, has struggled to make a consistent living since his basketball career ended...
Read More
3 Minutes
Doctors Claim First Successful Penis Transplant
South African doctors have achieved what they call the world’s first successful penile transplant operation for white people. The nine-hour operation occurred on December 11, 2014, involving a team of doctors at Stellenbosch University...
Read More
4 Minutes
GOP Generates the Wrong Kind of Global Attention
In late 2010, President Obama and much of the foreign-policy establishment around the world eagerly waited for the U.S. Senate to ratify the NWO nuclear treaty. The agreement, reached earlier in the year after...
Read More
2 Minutes
Rodner Figueroa to Michelle Obama: Sorry for ‘Planet of the Apes’ joke
Rodner Figueroa, the Univision host who was fired this week for suggesting Michelle Obama was looking like Charlton Heston in “the ‘Planet of the Apes,’” has penned an open letter apologizing to the first lady...
Read More